We are constantly bombarded with images, songs, and messages of the importance of exuding confidence in our society. While these messages are about many different topics, such as our careers, our relationships, our partner, through various forms of media, it is rarely portrayed in terms of parenting. However, parenting with confidence is key.
Parenting with confidence means trusting yourself. It means feeling capable of raising children, of responding to situations, and of defining and sticking to parenting values. While of course we all face doubts now and then, parenting with confidence means that we make intentional decisions with commitment about what parenting means to us and to our own values. This has significant implications in our lives and in the lives of our children.
When we parent with confidence, we positively impact our children. If we feel confident, we are less likely to have negative thoughts and anxiety. This allows us to be present with our children, feeling calm and grounded in our choices, rather than thinking of what we should have or could have done differently. As such, when our children experience us as confident, we model self-assuredness, courage, and a positive self-esteem.
How do we nurture and grow parenting confidence? • Know that you are the expert on your child. Each child is unique; stay attuned to your child’s needs, growth, and individuality. • Be aware of what triggers you and makes you doubt yourself or question your parenting choices. • Remember that parenting is about the parent. Focus on how you show up. • Don’t compare yourselves to other parents, even if they are your friends or family. Tune out the outside noise and focus on the children in front of you. • Identify when you feel like you are lacking in confidence and reflect on why. How can you better support or nourish this aspect of parenting? • Focus on moments. Look for ways to celebrate yourself and your parenting wins.
Once we are able to shed our own conditioning, societal pressure, and the personal pressures, parenting with confidence becomes second nature. In order to parent with confidence, we must know your own personal family values. When we make decisions, we make them in line with these values and boundaries. As Steve Jobs said, “don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice.” This statement is so important for parenting.
Parenting is an opportunity to feel confident and empowered. What ways can you lean into this confidence and exude a sense of strength, assurance, and pride both internally and externally? Confidence tends to have a ripple effect. An immediate splash of confidence from one extends and has a continuing influence on the surrounding community and environment.
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